Husband Deryck Whibley was nowhere in sight when Avril Lavigne got shit-faced with a couple of girlfriends at My House in Hollywood last night. My sources tell me he was home pondering the faggy spelling of the name “Derek” and the unfortunate connotations between “Whibley” and a flaccid penis. Related Stories Jude Law is Drunk, Surrounded by Ugly Chicks Amy Winehouse Gets in Fight on Plane Amy Winehouse Rushed To Hospital, Part 275 Verne Troyer Was A Drunken Sex Addict, Claims Ex Christina Aguilera is Drunk

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S.S. Avril Lavigne Gets Wasted

Eva Mendes has been named the “Most Desirable Woman of 2009″ by AskMen.com , which released its annual list of 99 babes — voted on by 10 million people — Wednesday. Transformers star Megan Fox came in at No. 2. (The 22-year-old actress isn’t so sure of her looks, though.

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Eva Mendes, Megan Fox Top "Most Desirable Women" List

File this one away in news you never wish you heard–Mini Me Verne Troyer was a veritable pocket rocket of boozy love! News of the World brings the barf-worthy details: Curvy 5ft 6in stunner Genevieve [Gallen], 36, reveals: “We had to be creative—but because of my yoga experience I could get into the right positions to make it work. And I was soon head over heels in love with Verne. “We could have sex up to 10 times in a single day. We’d do it for 45 minutes and he would just keep on going as I had orgasm after orgasm. “He was a sex addict. He was then only the second man I’d ever slept with

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Verne Troyer Was A Drunken Sex Addict, Claims Ex

File this one away in news you never wish you heard–Mini Me Verne Troyer was a veritable pocket rocket of boozy love! News of the World brings the barf-worthy details: Curvy 5ft 6in stunner Genevieve [Gallen], 36, reveals: “We had to be creative—but because of my yoga experience I could get into the right positions to make it work. And I was soon head over heels in love with Verne. “We could have sex up to 10 times in a single day.

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Verne Troyer Was A Drunken Sex Addict, Claims Ex

Christina Aguilera threw herself the dumbest birthday party ever with a lame-o “Clockwork Orange” theme. (WIMB) Twilight gobshite Robert Pattinson is a crybaby loser who can’t handle his life. (Socialite Life) Rihanna ’s outfit begs some questions.

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Quickies: A rather intolerable pain in the head, Brother Sir.

I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be Christina Aguilera as Santa Claus . ( Best Week Ever ) Dita von Teese just says NO to Russell Brand’s dick cheese. ( Holy Moly ) Playboy turned down Victoria’s Secret model Marisa Miller ! ( CelebSlam ) FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Kelly Osbourne threatens to kick Christina Aguilera’s ass. ( I’m Not Obsessed ) Now YOU can drive the Weinermobile ! Here’s how! ( COED Magazine ) Hermione Granger wants to get nekkid for you. ( Websters ) Megan Fox in a tight black dress because it’s Megan Fox in a tight black dress

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Quickies: All Hands on Deck