Hello, my lovelies.  It’s Sarah today.  There’s a whole lot of nothing going on at the moment (unless you count a bunch of boring crap about British reality-tv people or a bitch fight between “American Idol” alums over who’s the gayest of them all or more stupid shit about stupid dumb Jon & Kate), so let’s take a little island detour and check in with Amy Winehouse , shall we? Awwww, check it out you guys, Amy made a friend!  And this time her friend totally isn’t even a hollowed-out carrot she’s trying to smoke hair clippings out of.  Look, they’re having so much fun together!  First they re-enacted that video of Bigfoot ( here ) and then Amy pretended she was Daniel-san and her new friend was Mr. Miyagi ( here ) and then they played some sort of game involving zombies ( here ). It looks like Amy is advancing to nearly the same level of social development as the average preschooler.  Awwww, she’s growing up so fast, you guys! Related Stories Amy Winehouse’s Husband Knocks Up Chick in Rehab Winehouse Won’t Let Estranged Husband Divorce Her And Now For Something Completely Different The Lord is Not Merciful Amy Winehouse Charged with Assault for Punching Fan

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Amy Winehouse Made a Friend

According to The Guardian , Amy Winehouse has won a high court order banning the paparazzi from pursuing her. Similar protection was given to Lily Allen in March. A source close to the singer’s management team said that the singer sought the injunction to ban photographers (who constantly set up camp in front of her home) if they follow her or approach her within 100 meters of her home.

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Paparazzi Ordered to Stay Away from Amy Winehouse

What’s worse on model Dasha Astafieva — the copious nose hair, or the fledgling mustache? ( Use My Computer ) The Real Housewives of Orange County’s Gretchen Rossi shows her tits. ( The Dirty ) The only way the Jonas Brothers’ new album title could be any gayer is if it also contained the words “semen-soaked.” ( Websters ) Pam Anderson to host a vegan cooking show with hot bikini-clad models. Better stock up on cucumbers and carrots, girls! ( Hollywood Rag ) Miss California talks about the whole Perez Hilton controversy on the Today Show. ( Bricks and Stones ) If you like smoking pot and masturbating, than you just struck gold, my friend. ( COED Magazine ) Jennifer Aniston gets her leech-like tentacles around Gerard Butler .

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Quickies: Mud Puppies

Amy Winehouse’s estranged husband Blake Fielder Civil reportedly impregnated the stunning beauty seen above while the two were in rehab for heroin addiction. The Daily Mail says Gillian Morris, 31, told the News of the World that Blake seduced her at the Phoenix Futures Rehab Centre in Sheffield and “we had a secret fling.” The mother-of-two, who was undergoing treatment for heroin addiction, said he was shocked when he found out but he “has vowed to stand by me and raise the child” and she is now planning to keep the child, [adding] “I was surprised how supportive he was. I don’t think he’d say he’ll stand by me if he didn’t mean it.” Oh, I’m sure he meant it. Really, if there’s one person in the world whose word you can definitely trust, it’s a married man with a crippling opiate addiction who’s sticking it to you in the janitor’s at the court-ordered rehab center you’re both attending.

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Amy Winehouse’s Husband Knocks Up Chick in Rehab

Husband Deryck Whibley was nowhere in sight when Avril Lavigne got shit-faced with a couple of girlfriends at My House in Hollywood last night. My sources tell me he was home pondering the faggy spelling of the name “Derek” and the unfortunate connotations between “Whibley” and a flaccid penis. Related Stories Jude Law is Drunk, Surrounded by Ugly Chicks Amy Winehouse Gets in Fight on Plane Amy Winehouse Rushed To Hospital, Part 275 Verne Troyer Was A Drunken Sex Addict, Claims Ex Christina Aguilera is Drunk

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S.S. Avril Lavigne Gets Wasted

It would seem that Anna Faris has three sets of tits. Must come in handy around milkin’ time. ( The Bastardly ) Surprise, surprise — Chris Brown pleads not guilty.

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Quickies: Mind on My Money and My Money on My Mind